We’ve all had our fair share of hardships, challenges, and problems. At some incredibly low point in time, we may have even wondered if life would get any better. I’ve been there.
I’ve questioned my purpose in life; I’ve questioned whether life was even worth living at all. I’ve been hurt over and over and had my self-esteem in tatters. But despite feeling so horrible about myself, I held on and life got better.
And amazingly enough, I’ve learned a lot along the way – about myself, about others, about the world in general. I believe you can get through this too, and turn your negative experience into a learning experience.
Working through the negative experiences
When we’re going through a tough time in our lives, we might feel depressed, upset, angry, overwhelmed, helpless… maybe even a little bit scared and apprehensive. And we might be searching desperately for solutions – anything to get ourselves out of our horrible situation. We might want all the pain and confusion to end.
About eight years ago, I tried to end my life multiple times. I felt worthless, useless and unlovable. The pain I was going through felt like it was never going to end.
These were some of the devastating thoughts that were going through my mind at the time.
I deserve to be hurt because I don’t deserve any better.
My life has no meaning.
I just want my life to end.
If I kill myself, nobody would care anyway.
As much as the negative thoughts were consuming me, I managed to turn those thoughts around. I believe that you can too.
Through my negative experiences, I have been able to relate to other people who feel alone, depressed and helpless. I have even saved another person from committing suicide. I have realised that I’m not worthless like I once thought. I’ve realised that I can make a positive difference in the world. I’ve found my purpose now – helping others.
You need to believe that your life matters. That you have value. That you can bring something unique to this world. That you have gifts and talents that the rest of the world can benefit from. That you CAN get through this.
The negative emotions that you’re feeling right now will not last forever. The challenges you’re facing right now can be overcome.
I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to hold on. You need to find purpose in your life. Take up a hobby, invest some time with your family and friends, take a look into where your career is heading.
But most important of all, you need to hold on. You never know how your life might change for the better.
Eight years have passed since that lowest point in my life, and I’m now happily married with 3 children and I have a career that makes me proud. I have this life now because I had the strength to hold on. You can hold on as well.
What you can learn from your negative experiences
A challenging experience in life helps to build character; it teaches us resilience, it shows us what our true capabilities really are. Negative experiences help us to learn more about ourselves, about other people, about the rest of the world.
Until I went through what I did, I didn’t realise how brave and strong I really am. I didn’t realise how much my empathetic nature would help other people. I didn’t realise that my life could impact other people’s lives so much. I also didn’t realise that you can forgive a person without forgetting, that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes, that it’s okay not to be perfect.
Here are lessons that I have learned about myself, that you can also say to yourself as positive affirmations.
I am worthy of being loved.
I can stand up for myself.
I am in control of how I feel.
I am strong and I will get through this.
I can make a unique and valuable contribution to society.
You hear people say so often that they don’t regret their negative experiences; that it’s shaped who they are today. And I wholeheartedly agree with this.
If I hadn’t gone through what I did, I wouldn’t have learned that I’m a better person than I’ve given myself credit for. That my presence on Earth would be truly missed if I were gone. I wouldn’t have learned to value myself and what I’m capable of giving to this world.
I believe that negative experiences in life help us to grow as people and encourage us to reach our full potential. I believe that our negative experiences can inspire other people to get through theirs.
I believe that with negative experiences, we can learn to be better, to be happier, to be the best that we can be.
I believe that negative experiences can be turned into learning experiences.
I believe that because it happened to me.
This is a Guest Post from Thuy Yau
Thuy Yau is a freelance writer, who loves to inspire others with her work. Thuy is passionate about promoting healthy emotional and mental health, respect towards others, and finding purpose in life. Her writing has appeared on major Australian news sites, been discussed on radio, and won writing contests. You can follow her on Facebook or Twitter, or check out her blog at www.insideamothersmind.com.